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Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them.

More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Realize that a person is breaking up has nothing to do with caring about another person. Caring about somebody and wanting a relationship are not the same.

The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt others, especially somebody they have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in yourself.! When you allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you’ll foster resentment towards the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future. Why would you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing you to feel guilty? Respect yourself!!.

A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief caused to his partner

Don’t just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away. You might have learned a little bit about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That only tends to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what you want.

. The I think you’re a great girl and I don’t deserve you line will seem ok to her at first, but later on she will start to resent that. She could also go into how you DO deserve her and try to convince you.

Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person, with respect and dignity helps soften the blow.

When you break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to tell her that the relationship isn’t’t going anywhere.

In our workshops we teach how verbal communication is only 7% of the total communication between people. If she also sees closed off body language it will be easier for closure for her eventually.

Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye contact and read your body language. The universal line of “ we need to talk.” should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming and helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time between the “We need to talk” and actual breakup as the waiting time in between is very uncomfortable if delayed long.

On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in the exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that the relationship has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might help neutralize some of the new sad ones.

Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. It is important to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying) than give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest you are not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel horrible.

Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try to get cozy with the person as this can really mess with somebody’s head a lot as they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This is the only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.

Robert Torrey

About the Author: Robert Torrey is one of the trainers for Fidentia. Fidentia teaches men (and soon women) how to meet just about anybody and get that other person to pick you up.Subscribe to their free newsletter for more info and check out the websitehttp://www.badboycoaching.com/dating_tips.htm

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For a long time now business, commerce and law have been the main areas of study for students who wish to become successful in our modern materialistic society. Places like Harvard Business School were where so-called elite elements of human intelligence hoped to be trained so that they could then reach the highest ranks of status and wealth. Well, things are changing. This is because these people are now being outsourced. Presently, companies can get the same jobs done by people from India and Asia for one fifteenth of what it costs to rent an overpriced white collar American or European. The future no longer lies in these areas of financial process. The future successes now lie in ideas. The poor, starving, struggling artists are the kingpins of tomorrow. Creativity is now being seen as the desired quality for positive growth in any and every industry in our world.

Who cares about how good you know the systems of finance? The question now is: How are you going to innovate and create ideas that further society and incite others to participate in your areas of interest? Artists are now being sought after by businesses to produce imagery that inspires both investment and consumption. Idea creators are desired for their ingenuity and ability to change the ways in which society functions. We all know that the only constant in life is the fact that all things are in constant flux, perpetual change. So, how are you going to create changes that further society?

Half way through this article I realized that I had to go to the toilet, but after entering the lavatory found that toilet paper was non-existent. As I work for a web hosting company that is quite relaxed about these things, I decided to get a breath of fresh air and go down to the corporate supplier and buy some.

As I walked down the hot summer street with a package of 48 rolls of poo-wiping tree matter on my head, African style, I wondered if it might not be ironic that this crapping paper was sitting so close to my brain. Maybe I’m full of s*#t and creative people are always going to be thought of as people who just suck off the rest of society only to fulfill their unworldly whims. I don’t think so. Business graduates may have once been in a position of absolute authority, where they could charge as much as they want for the use of their special hard-to-come-by services. Now however, the tables have turned. Oh yes, society may still function with the whole capitalistic financial game, but can you tell me of ten accountants and lawyers that changed the face of the world. Can you?

Maybe you can. Maybe you’re one of those super-intelligent types that know everything about how humanity has evolved over the millennia. Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, Van Gogh, Picasso, Einstein, Newton, Edison, Socrates and Buddha: How many of these people who changed the world were business graduates? Creative ideas have always been intrinsic factors in creating momentous changes to social beliefs and systems on our world. I believe we are on a pendulum, and things are once again about to swing towards a time of inspiration and imagination. Even in the present money-driven social paradigm it looks like new ideas and ways of perception are going to be integral to one’s success. If we want to be a great part of the future human team, it’s time to once again open the right side of our brains and become balanced in our thinking processes. Am I full of crap, or full of inspiration? You be the judge.

About the Author: Jesse S. Somer is a human being learning to access the side of the brain that our society has long since relegated to the back burner on the stove of perfection. www.m6.net

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Many people use strong cleaners or acid cleaners to make the house clean and to get hard to clean stains out, but people don’t realize that many cleaners are bad for our health they contain ingredient that irritate the skin and the fumes that those cleaner produce are dangerous if we inhale them.

Many people suffer from asthma and other respiratory problems and using those type of cleaners in a place not well ventilated can be harmful for the health.

A good way to help is using gloves and a mask of some sort to clean but in my opinion that’s too much hazel for me, an alternative that is good way to clean the house and safe for the family and none toxic are natural cleaners.

There are many companies now a days making natural cleaners that are made with all-natural ingredients which is not toxic and safe.

About the Author: Axel Rodriguezhttp://www.getveriuni.com

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You know, this would be a great business if it weren’t for having to deal with people all the time…

OK, so maybe I’ve exaggerated things a bit, but we’ve all certainly heard that saying before. Why does that sentiment ring true for so many folks? Obviously it’s because of all the people challenges we’re presented with in our business. Virtually every one of my clients over the years has brought up the subject of dealing with difficult people. There’s no escaping the fact that they come into everyone’s lives at one time or another. Sometimes they come in the form of an unhappy or hard-to-get-along-with client, customer, or co-worker. Sometimes they’re a person we report to or someone who reports to us. And sometimes they’re just someone we happen to come in contact with like a store clerk. Whoever they are, they can cause anxiety, frustration, concern, or anger in us and can even cause us to become like them – someone difficult to deal with.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a difficult person is to avoid them altogether – give them wide berth. But often we don’t have that option. The difficult person is someone we simply have to deal with. Most people would say that in those situations, we have three options. These options are: 1) Try to change ourselves, 2) Try to change the other person, and 3) Resolve to tolerate the situation – basically decide to put up with them. I’d like to suggest that there’s a fourth, very effective option as well – perhaps the most effective of the four options.
Let’s spend some time discussing these four options.

1) Try to Change Ourselves
Your first instinct might be, “Why should I be the one to change?” In fact quite often you’ll find that to be an appropriate response! Often there is nothing about what we do or say to cause the other person to be difficult. We are usually not the catalyst for their behavior. But sometimes we are. Haven’t you had people in your life who just rubbed you the wrong way? You’re fine around pretty much everyone else, but around a particular person, you get defensive, anxious, angry, and difficult to deal with? I think we all have. If you’ve had people in your life who cause you to become difficult or obstinate, then doesn’t it stand to reason that you may be causing that same reaction in someone? It’s in situations like this that we have to examine our own behaviors and reflect on whether we’re the cause. Frequently however, we’re blind to our shortcomings. We don’t see what we don’t see. How do you find out whether you’re the cause of the other person’s difficult behavior? Option 4 holds the answer.

2) Try to Change the Other Person
In Option 1 – Try to Change Ourselves – our initial instinct was to ask, “Why should I be the one to change?” Our first reaction was one of justification. Basically saying, “I’m not the one with the problem…” Guess what happens when we try to change the other person? You got it. They have the same reaction we would have had. Everyone feels justified in their behavior. No one intends to behave arbitrarily or irrationally. We always have a reason for acting the way we do. Attempting to force the other person to change doesn’t work. Just ask any spouse! No one will change anything about themselves until and unless they choose to do so. Option 4 holds the answer.

3) Decide to Put Up with Them
“Tolerate it.” “Just deal with it.” The only thing that accepting things the way they are accomplishes is to postpone a confrontation. Although this course of action (or inaction) appears to avoid a confrontation, in fact what it does is eliminate any chance of dialogue and replaces it with a certain confrontation down the road. Even though this path is frequently taken, it has some far-reaching unhappy consequences. Let’s talk about how it affects you, the other person, and your team.

You
You end up spending valuable energy by deciding to tolerate this person. It takes energy to deal with a poor situation – energy which you need for other, more positive and productive efforts. In addition, by tolerating this person, your attitude suffers. Although we decide to tolerate it, we don’t ignore it. By dwelling on the thing that irritates us so much, we give it fuel and we diminish our attitude. If you’re successful in your business you already know the importance of maintaining a positive attitude. Tolerating something that reduces our level of energy and our attitude is unacceptable.

The Other Person
Think about this for a minute… No one sets out to do a poor job. Everyone starts out intending to do a good job.

They have a positive attitude and high aspirations. Nevertheless, sometimes things change. They become complacent, lose interest, and experience a drop in attitude. Why is that? Has that ever happened to you? I believe it’s happened to each of us at some times during our career(s). If you reflect back to that time, you’ll find one of two reasons for this shift. One reason is that the work you were doing really didn’t interest you. One of the great revelations in life is that just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you enjoy it. Think about the implications of this. It means that even if we’re really good at the work we do, we may actually find it unenjoyable. Do you think that situation would affect someone’s attitude? You bet. Work would become unfulfilling. The other reason we might have become complacent, lost interest, and experienced a drop in attitude is that we became disillusioned with someone or something. Perhaps our boss or our company did something which lacked integrity or perhaps what we thought was true turned out not to be. In situations where integrity is an issue is there a way to make things better? Not in the near term. Maybe never. In situations where the reality of the situation is a different one than was first imagined, is there a way to make things better? Maybe. Option 4 holds the answer.

Your Team
It never fails. A manager tolerates a difficult person for an extended time, hoping they’ll “come around” and hoping to avoid a confrontation. Then finally something happens – some event or challenge - and they feel they have no choice but to confront them which, by that point, leads to a termination. And then the manager is surprised at the number of team members who come forth and comment on what a drag on the team that person had been. They’ll speak up about their poor attitude or poor work ethic. And they’ll often add, “I don’t know why you kept them so long!” Don’t be fooled into thinking this difficult person was only affecting you. Your people are aware of most of the things going on around them, just like you are. When you don’t address a difficult person - when you decide to tolerate them - your whole team is affected. In addition, ask yourself this: What does it say about you as a leader and what does it say about your integrity? If you say you value a certain set of traits and then allow the opposite to exist, what does it say about you? Tolerating a difficult person doesn’t work in the long run.

4) Work to Understand Their Motivation
Option 4 - The key to success. This option is about being a leader and being an effective communicator. It’s about being compassionate and strong at the same time. It’s about being good for someone rather than being good to them. It’s about understanding rather than telling.

This solution is about taking the time to understand the other person’s motivation for acting the way they do. If you’re effective at this, you’ll be able to either help them change their perspective on things or help them to move on to something that better suits them. This solution is about helping people grow and maximize their talents.

How do you come to understand the motivation for their actions and attitude? Just ask. Ask why they act the way they do. Usually they’ll be more than happy to tell you. If their answer seems odd or incorrect, you need to keep asking questions to get at the heart of the issue so you can either shift their perspective or help them move on. Once you’re at the core issue you have the ability to make a difference in their life. It’s amazing what can come out of a sincere desire to help. How would you have felt if, at those times when you felt complacent with a poor attitude, someone took the time to listen to you and offer some other perspectives? How would your life be different today if someone helped you see yourself and/or your life differently? As a leader, you have the ability to make a difference in someone’s life.

About the Author: Written by Michael Beck, President of Exceptional Leadership, Inc. a firm which develops high-performance leaders through leadership enhancement and executive coaching. Michael can be reached at 877-977-8956 or mbeck@XLeaders.com , and you can learn more about the company and these ideas at www.XLeaders.com Permission to reprint with full attribution.© 2004 Exceptional Leadership, Inc.

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Today Norm Goldman, Editor of sketchandtravel.com and Bookpleasures.com are pleased to have as our guest author, travel writer, award- winning comedy writer, artist and expert on Vanuatu, Fiji and Cook Islands, Ian Heydon.

Ian is here to talk to us today about these islands.

Good day Ian and it is great to have you accept our invitation to participate in this interview.

NORM:

Can you tell our readers something about yourself and your expertise pertaining to Vanuatu, Fiji and Cook Islands, as well as the different books you have written about these islands.

IAN:

I first went to Fiji in 1993 and simply fell in love with the tropics – the warm, picture-postcard waters and the relaxed rhythm of life in general. I went back the following year and got my PADI Open Water Dive accreditation and, after another couple of trips realised I was working pretty much with a goal to travel more.

As I had a fairly successful career as a writer, I decided to see if I could write about travel and kill two birds with the one pen. In 1999, we took a family holiday to Vanuatu, where my wife Annie and I gave each other a ‘Renewal of Vows’ ceremony as an anniversary gift.

I felt automatically at ‘home’ in Vanuatu and, as luck would have it, Annie was offered a job teaching at Port Vila International School. We decided that it would be an adventure, especially for the kids (then aged 7 and 3). Our 12-month contract extended to three fantastic years, during which time I got to write a lot, including my travel book on Australia, The Small Guide to A Big Country.

After leaving Vanuatu I bought a travel agent’s licence to specialize in taking people, particularly honeymooners to this fascinating and rewarding part of the world. What I thought would be a hobby quickly became a business and in early 2004 I visited the Cook Islands and fell in love with another Pacific destination.

2004 also saw visits to New Caledonia, Fiji and three trips to Vanuatu. And I’m really excited about my first trip to Samoa this year. While I don’t have any actual publications on the Pacific islands, I have three comprehensive information websites, Vanuatu A to Z, Fiji A to Z and Cook Islands A to Z.

NORM:

Could you tell our readers where these islands are located and an idea as to what differentiates one island from another from the point of view of topography, climate, and anything else you consider different?

IAN:

For me, living in Australia, Vanuatu and Fiji are so accessible, being just a few hours away. Visiting the Cook Islands means a stopover in New Zealand, but it is still just ‘two meals and two movies’. For Americans, the Cook Islands and Fiji are more accessible than Vanuatu (requires a stop in Fiji to connect or to be taken as a side trip from Australia or New Zealand). The climate in all destinations is similar – tropical with no great range in temperatures but it can get very humid in the summer months. These months are traditionally ‘wet’ but El Nino seems to have changed that. In the Cook Islands, when it rains, they call it “liquid sunshine”. The warm water temperatures mean swimming is possible all year round.

·Vanuatu is by far the most primitive, if that’s the right word. While Port Vila is a modern town with good infrastructure, excellent resorts and great restaurants, on many of the outer islands the ni-Vanuatu people live traditional village lives (ni-Vanuatu means ‘of Vanuatu’).

Cannibalism is part of the history and the last recorded case was in 1969, the year Armstrong and Aldrin took that “one small step for man”. Vanuatu also has a number of active volcanoes, including Mt Yasur, which is accessible and rewarding. Because of this, small earth tremors are common. Until 1980, when Vanuatu became an independent nation, the country was called the New Hebrides, a condominium, jointly run by the British and the French. There were both French and English schools, hospitals, police forces and, for a time, they even drove on both sides of the road!

·Fiji is similar in topography, without the active volcanoes. For me, this is more a ‘resort’ destination. While there is certainly a lot to explore, most visitors usually choose one or two resorts for their vacation.

The Fijian people are warm, outgoing (you can’t go anywhere without being greeted with a beaming smile and “Bula”) and are far more akin to living on ‘island time’ than the Indian population. It’s a happy mix for tourists however, as the Indians pretty much make the business side of things run smoothly.

·The Cook Islands also has rugged mountains, lush vegetation and pristine azure waters but a very different ‘feel’. The local people are Polynesian, not Melanesian, and comfortably marry the sensuality of Polynesia with a Christian way of life.

It was from here that the Maori people followed migrating birds in their canoes to discover New Zealand. These days in the Cooks, English is spoken with a Kiwi accent and the currency is the New Zealand dollar (which makes it great value for US travelers). By contrast, the Fijian people are around 50% Fijian and 50% Indian. The ni-Vanuatu people are far more shy but just as friendly and welcoming. And, as their tourism slogan says, ‘another time, another pace.’

NORM:

How safe is it to travel to these islands?

IAN:

I find these destinations the safest on the planet. Yes, you may find petty crime, as you will anywhere, but on the whole people are far less materially minded and perhaps more family oriented. Our three years in Vanuatu were a reminder of when the world was a simpler and more secure place – the children would nip off down the lagoon to play unsupervised and we knew they were safe… or a father would load a dozen children into the back of his truck and head out for a beach picnic – no seatbelts but also no worries… it was a place where kids were allowed to be kids.

NORM:

Why would you consider these islands a good choice for a romantic getaway or wedding and honeymoon destination, and if you had to choose your favorite one, which one would it be and why?

IAN:

Firstly, for the scenery – there’s something really romantic about swaying palm trees, balmy weather and green-blue warm waters (I’m yet to see any artist reproduce these colours). But, more than this, I think it’s that rhythm of island time that I’ve mentioned. You absorb the slower pace and are away from the routine of computers, traffic and deadlines. Choosing one place is hard for me, but I will go with the island of Aitutaki in the Cooks (about a 50 minute flight from the main island of Rarotonga). This huge lagoon (a volcanic crater) is just stunning, the local people are welcoming and there are some excellent accommodation properties and restaurants.

NORM:

What is the best time to visit these islands from the point of view of weather, costs, and crowds?

IAN:

I’m going to take an easy out and say anytime you want to travel and to use a local saying, “whatever the weather, have a nice day”. I was in both Fiji and Vanuatu in December 2004. Traditionally this is the hot, wet and humid season. In Fiji it hadn’t rained for seven weeks and I didn’t use air-conditioning in either country. Some people avoid traveling in February and March because of possible cyclones but these are pretty rare.

I’m betting that 2005 will be cyclone free – the water temperatures haven’t risen much and there aren’t an abundance of mangoes. For some reason the mango tree seems to be in tune with weather patterns and they have an over-abundance of fruit if a cyclone is imminent. Cost and crowd-wise, I would avoid the Australian and New Zealand school holiday periods but, having said that, all three destinations have ‘adults only’ accommodation options.

NORM:

Do people travel to all three islands as a kind of package tour or is this not advisable?

IAN:

From Australia and New Zealand, packages often work out the most economical and efficient but, from the USA and Canada, it can be better to purchase the airfare and land content separately. I don’t want to be hard on US travel agents but some do not have enough knowledge of Pacific destinations to offer the right advice (although having Vanuatu as the location for ‘Survivor’ has raised the profile of this small country). I recommend using a specialist in travel to these regions and/or contact the accommodation properties direct. Most of them will still offer the package ‘specials’ like Stay 7 nights, Pay 5 nights to people who book direct.

NORM:

If you had to choose an unequalled, exotic and unique areas such as parks, beaches etc in each one of these Islands to celebrate a wedding, which ones would you choose from the point of view of popularity and beauty?

IAN:

·Again, a hard one because, for example, some brides like to arrive in a canoe, which requires a lagoon location but to choose one in Vanuatu, a little resort called Tamanu on the Beach. It is 25 minutes from Port Vila. The bride and groom are welcomed with a glass of champagne or fruit punch, ‘warriors’ perform a traditional dance and guard of honour, the ceremony is under a simple canopy on the beach, then champagne to toast and finger food while documentation is signed, a celebration lunch or dinner (on the beach or in the excellent little restaurant) followed by the night in one of the romantic French Colonial cottages.

·In Fiji, I will opt for a Tokoriki Island wedding. They have built a delightful wedding chapel (and there are plenty of beach options). Here there are also traditional Fijian warriors to escort the bride and a Fijian choir (these people know how to sing!) and a wonderful wedding dinner is part of the package. My main reason for choosing Tokoriki, though, is the new honeymoon bures with their private plunge pools.

·While I said earlier that Aitutaki is my most romantic choice for a honeymoon, I would actually have the wedding ceremony on Rarotonga by beautiful Muri Lagoon, again with warrior and maiden escort. A beautiful part of some ceremonies is to be taken by canoe across the lagoon to the motu (uninhabited island) called Koromiri where the union is sealed with planting of a small coconut palm (uto). As the tree grows, so will the relationship. Apparently many couples return on their anniversaries to see just how much their tree has grown and to again taste the romance of the tropics.

NORM:

How far in advance should a couple prepare themselves for a honeymoon or romantic getaway to these islands?

IAN:

From our experience it depends very much on the situation. If couples plan to invite guests, it is nice to give a lot of warning so they can prepare financially (say, 9 to 12 months). Six months seems to be about average but we have had people deciding pretty much on the spur of the moment. The record goes to one couple visiting Vanuatu who were swept away by the romance of the place, decided to marry and were husband and wife in less than 48 hours (there was a lot of panic and appreciated cooperation from the registry office on that one!)

NORM:

What advice would you have for destination brides who plan to bring along a wedding party to these islands? It’s a growing trend for destination weddings to now have a fairly sizeable wedding party—sometimes about 50—so it would be great to get tips on group airline discounts, hotel blocks.

IAN:

An island wedding with guests can be really wonderful. In some cases, where guests arrive from different parts of the planet, the occasion can also serve as a family reunion. Group discounts for flights and accommodation can be arranged and sometimes it suits guests to stay in a different resort to the bride and groom because of budget or requirements (e.g. kids club or self-contained facilities). The largest wedding we organized in 2004 was for 67 guests travelling to Vanuatu from Australia, New Zealand, USA and the United Kingdom. We are currently planning one for 150 to 180 guests in Fiji, which will be interesting! Luckily there is a resort with a seaside chapel that can accommodate this many people. When compared to traditional weddings with all the trimmings, tropical weddings are very inexpensive and many guests combine the occasion with their annual vacation.

NORM:

How does one go about checking on the reliability of a hotel or resort in these islands when it pertains to service, food, etc?

IAN

Again, you can’t beat specialist, local advice. To me, resorts and restaurants reflect the personality of the owners/managers and they can change literally overnight. Specialist agencies like ourselves should travel regularly to the destinations and have contacts on the ground for updates.

NORM:

What should people know about planning a wedding in these islands insofar as legal requirements are concerned?

IAN:

In broad terms, think three weeks/three days. In Vanuatu and Fiji, documents should be lodged at least three weeks prior to travel and couples should be in the country for three days prior to the ceremony. In some cases this is flexible. In Fiji, couples have to have an interview at the Registry Office and have original documentation with them. In Vanuatu, the faxed copies are sufficient and there is no interview. The Cook Islands require original documents and an interview (here, the 3-day rule can be shortened for a fee). Documents required include passports, birth certificates, Intention to Marry form and divorce papers or death of spouse certificate if applicable. One thing to always check is that passports have six months validity from the date of travel.

NORM:

Is there anything else you would wish to add as it pertains to romantic and wedding destinations in these islands?

IAN:

Two things – firstly, for the bride (and groom) to make a ‘wish list’. Most wedding tropical wedding packages can be tailored to the couples wishes, whether the ceremony be in a church, gardens or on a beach… and include little things like the color of the bride’s dress (so flowers and table settings can complement) and whether they would like a CD compilation of their favourite music (you don’t need last minute panics looking for a CD player etc!) And finally, no matter where couples marry (traditional or tropical), it really should be the wedding the couple wants. There’ll be plenty of time for compromise later when they have to decide who goes where for Christmas or thanksgiving!

To learn more about resort weddings in these islands click HERE and about tropical honeymoons click HERE

Thanks once again.

About the Author: Norm Goldman is editor of sketchandtravel.com and bookpleasures.com. Norm and his artist wife Lily meld art and words in order to create an unusual travel story, which generates interest, particularly because of the fact that each painting appears to have been ‘custom-made’ for the story-original story and original art. Combining the watercolors with travel writing provides a softer, more romantic look at the places we visit.Their main focus is on romantic and wedding destinations.As they specialize in web-based content, their articles are featured on their own site, SKETCHANDTRAVEL.COM, where you can find out more about them. They are also regular contributors to some of the most popular Internet Travel Sites: LOVETRIPPER.COM: THETIMESHAREBEAT.COM:TRAVELLADY.COM:BOOTSNALL.COM: Visit Florida Online: Tropical Island WeddingsNorm and Lily are always open to suggestions as to romantic and wedding destinations to visit, write and paint about.

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For the past several years I have been reviewing books for my own site, Bookpleasures.com, as well as many other sites. I am also a regular contributor to the Canadian Book Review Annual.As editor of Bookpleasures.com, I would like to make a few comments about book reviewing and what to expect, particularly from Bookpleasures.com.

Today, with the advent of the Internet, there has been a proliferation of book reviewers, whom I shall classify as the good, the bad and the ugly.Those falling within the last category are ones that you have to be particularly on the look out for, as their only interest is to receive complimentary books without bothering to review them, or if they do review them, their reviews are very short and without substance.On the other hand, there are many serious and excellent reviewers, who devote a great deal of their time and energy in reading and writing a review.

Unfortunately for the authors, sometimes reviews are not exactly very complimentary. However, it is to be noted that it is not the objective of a reviewer to be a salesperson or a public relations representative for the author. If the criticism is constructive, a great deal can be learned from the review, particularly if the reviewer is also an author.

From the point of view of a reviewer, what I find most annoying is receiving a book without first asking me if I would accept to review it. Bookpleasures receives on average about 20-30 email requests per week. These requests are forwarded to our reviewers, who communicate directly with the sender of the email.In all probability, there is a 20%-30% chance that a request to review will be accepted by a reviewer. The reason why a book is not accepted is wide and varied. Many of our reviewers have a backlog that they would like to clear before accepting new assignments, or the subject matter is not one that interests any of them.

What I like to see in a request is not “hype” but rather a brief resumé of the contents of the book, who the author is, if the book is published by a main stream publisher or is it self-published, and if the book is available on Amazon. Bookpleasures also conducts e-interviews with some authors, and if the author is open to have himself or herself interviewed, please indicate.

If you are a publicist or publisher, don’t be afraid to put Bookpleasures as well as other book reviewing sites on your emailing list. You never know when something catches our eyes. Sometimes you may be publicizing a particular book, and our reviewers will look to your site and see something else that interests them.

As for the time frame, this all depends on the reviewer. Anywhere from one week to three months is the norm. You can ask the reviewer to give you some idea as to his or her time frame. You can also inquire as to his or her credentials. Bookpleasures does provide links to the reviewers’ site that should give you some idea as to their experience.

I do hope this is of help to some of you.

About the Author: Norm Goldman is a free lance book reviewer and travel writer.He is editor of Bookpleasures.com, a book reviewing site, and sketchandtravel.com, a travel site that melds words with art.

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Did you ever notice that the bar is continually being raised on exactly what physical characteristics define beauty? As I sit in front of the TV, I am bombarded by beauties with pouty lips, perfect bone structure, flawless skin, more “voluptuous” upper regions, size 2 waists, and hair that resembles spun silk. Take these same beauties and plop them back in time 20-30 years, when the advent of modern cosmetic technology had not even begun to reach its full potential. Do you think they would have had those same attributes you find yourself longing for when faced with these images? My guess is probably not, or at least not to the same extent.

True, genetics play a role in physical beauty, but with the likes of total “extreme” makeover reality TV (The Swan, Extreme Makeover, Dr. Beverly Hills) and abundant publicity, we see that beauty and cosmetic improvement can now be achieved by a few thousand dollars and a good plastic surgeon. Not only that, but cosmetics in general are now so technologically advanced, you can improve your looks by personal makeup application and home treatments.

There are now do-it-yourself cosmetic treatments such as home microdermabrasion kits, chemical peels, “botox” creams and gels, teeth whiteners, hair removal treatments, cellulite treatments, professional hair straighteners and colors, self tanners, lip enlargers, acne treatments, and the list goes on and on (http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com/best-skincare-products-reviews.html ). Cosmetics marketers and science have joined forces to give women everything they ever wanted to be their most beautiful, and feel better about themselves. Women are benefitting by so many companies competing for a piece of these fairly new markets by lower, more competitive prices.

Not only are there new breakthroughs in the world of cosmetic science, but there are constantly new studies and discoveries in the field of nutrition, fitness, and wellness.

Combine this with the new wave of technologically advanced cosmetics, supplements, and treatments, and you’ve got a recipe for a healthier, longer, more satisfying life for those of us who decide to take advantage of the advanced knowledge of our time.

So, does your desire to be your best and most beautiful self make you shallow, less credible, or somehow jeopardize your feminist agendas? Unless you’ve somehow compromised your integrity, morals, or core beliefs along the way, the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT! As long as you are not putting yourself at high risk for physical harm, obsessing endlessly, or spending your life savings, investing time and money into your beauty ultimately is an investment in your well being, self esteem, and many times, mental and physical health.

Wanting to feel our most beautiful and feminine is part of what makes us women. Come on, it’s just plain FUN to experiment with different looks and different products! It feels good to be noticed, and when you feel beautiful, you tend to radiate confidence and power. It is inherent in our nature to want to feel feminine and look and feel our best, and there is nothing wrong with it, as long as it is not all-consuming.

As a self-proclaimed “product junkie”, I can attest that many of these newly engineered products really do work, as I have tried nearly all of them in the quest to look and feel my best. I can’t wait to see what they’ll come out with next, as every new product seems to top the last. Hey, women have come a long way, and we deserve to feel sexy and confident - beyond smoke and mirrors!

About the Author: Danna Schneider is the webmaster of the beauty and cosmetic product review and advice website CosmeticsGalore.com http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com . She is a cosmetics and beauty product researcher and enthusiast.

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Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=434&ca=Womens+Interest

It has been the bane of every women’s existence since the dawn of time - the affliction known as cellulite. We all have it to varying degrees, and it seems to get worse as we get older in many cases. So, should we just resign ourselves to the fact that it is here to stay, or is there a way to fight and get rid of cellulite?

Thankfully, the answer is yes, we can fight cellulite, or at least the appearance of cellulite, through several therapeutic treatments that are available on the market today. It is not, however, a one-time deal. Once you stop the treatments, the cellulite will inevitably return. So, the treatment of cellulite is an ongoing commitment, and it should be incorporated as part of your daily beauty regimen for consistent and lasting reduction in it’s appearance.

Some of the over-the-counter cellulite treatments actually do quite a good job of significantly reducing the appearance of cellulite (for reviews of the best products see http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com/best-cosmetics-online-reviews.html ). In order to achieve maximum effectiveness with these products, it is imperative that you massage the affected areas vigorously for a few minutes when applying the treatment. In addition to the smoothing and tightening ingredients in the treatment, the massaging stimulates circulation and helps break the collagen bands that have constricted and resulted in the “puckered” look of the affected areas. The most effective ingredients, and what gives these products their smoothing effects, are caffeine and aminophylline. Many also add seaweed extract as well, but this is not the most effective ingredient in the product.

In addition to the cellulite creams, lotions and gels, there is a procedure called endermology that has many women reporting extraordinary results. It is actually a large mechanical pressure device that uses a technique similar to the process of a rolling pin rolling out dough to make cookies. This action kneads the problem areas with substantial pressure to break down the aforementioned collagen bands, and smooth the sponginess and puckering out for an even and toned appearance.

Drawbacks are it is expensive and does require return visits for maintenance, it can be an uncomfortable and even slightly painful process, and it may result in some temporary bruising.

Another option is oral herbal or medicinal remedies for cellulite. Beware though. There have not been significant studies or proof verifying whether these products actually produce results. I cannot recommend investing in or experimenting with these newer products until substantial findings or proof are published regarding their effectiveness.

So, what else causes cellulite? This question is still the subject of scientific debate. We definitely know that it mostly affects women, so there is much speculation that the underlying cause is hormonal in nature. Many other studies suggest it is related to age, diet, genetics, and fitness/level of activity. It has been noted that strength and toning exercises, as well as steady weight maintenance will help with the appearance of cellulite. Frequent weight fluctuation, high fat diets, and even excessive carbonated beverages have been some of the suspected culprits as well.

Whatever the cause, if you want to minimize these unsightly dimples, there are options out there for you that are effective and affordable. New breakthroughs are being made every day in the field of cosmetic enhancement products, so we may soon see another product that blows them all away. It may be tomorrow, for all we know!

About the Author: Danna Schneider is the webmaster of the beauty and cosmetic product review and advice website CosmeticsGalore.com http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com . She is a cosmetics and beauty product researcher and enthusiast.

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=432&ca=Advice

Once again, very full lips are one of the most sought after “assets”, thanks in large part to a very popular and sexy actress that seems to appeal to both men and women. Plastic surgeons say the most often requested lips they would like to imitate are Angelina Jolie’s. And who can blame them? You can’t deny the sensuality and femininity of a full pair of lips. Lips that are fuller can really balance out the face, and add to the attractiveness and symmetry of the overall facial structure. Full, soft looking lips seem to compliment and soften any woman’s face and bring out their most feminine, sensual and sultry features.

You may be one of the lucky women who has been blessed with a perfectly pouty and full smile, but if you’re reading this article you are probably seeking to enlarge, enhance, or otherwise increase the volume and fullness of your lips. But who really has the money or inclination to go have a costly, and many times painful, procedure performed which may not even produce permanent results? Not to mention, most of these procedures are, in fact, not permanent, and do require recurring visits every six months. This can really add up, and the results may not even be as natural as you desire. So the question is, if you want fuller, larger, sexier lips, what are your nonsurgical choices, if any that are safe AND effective?

It seems like every day a new cosmetics company is popping up on the internet claiming to have the one lip enlargement product that really works. How are you to tell which of these lip enhancement products really lives up to it’s claims? We all know that most of them probably are just a waste of good money. Most lip enlargement creams, gels and glosses work by actually irritating the outer layer of cells, causing it to swell slightly and turn a deeper color. Other lip enhancers use light reflection through high shine or gloss to trick the eye and make the lips appear fuller. Most of these do not result in any truly noticeable difference to the naked eye, and do not last more than one hour.

There are a few products that have been shown to help increase moisture and volume over time with repeated use (for reviews and suggestions http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com/best-cosmetics-online-reviews.html ). Do not expect a dramatic increase by the use of these products alone though. The best, most dramatic natural lip enlargement can be achieved through combining the use a quality topical lip product along with a lip enlargement pump
(recommendations at same URL mentioned above ). A lip enlargement pump is a small hand-held device that gently suctions the lips outward, pulling fliud in to the lips and creating a dramatically fuller set of lips for a few hours at a time.

They are inexpensive, and you only need to buy it once and you’re done. I do however recommend you purchase a few so you have one for home and one for on the road.

The best part about this device is that, over time and with regular use, you will notice your lip size really has increased, even after the initial effect of lip “plumping” has worn off. One word of caution though, if the pump is used for too long with each individual treatment, or the suction is too vigorous and severe, it will cause your lips to bruise. So start slow, and be sure you are not in discomfort as this is a sign the lips may bruise. Be cautious and mindful of this, and stick to the recommended treatment times. If the suction is too much, reduce the pressure by releasing the nozzle until it is a comfortable “tugging” sensation. This device is truly a great way to achieve a dramatic increase in lip size, and is a great “special occasion” beauty tool.
It is a Hollywood standby for photo shoots and a favorite trick of models and actresses to get the lips extra plump and full.

Another tip for maintaining moisture and fullness of the lips, besides using a good lip enhancer and a lip pump (if so desired for dramatic effects), is to keep you body hydrated. Be sure to drink plenty of water at all times, and be sure to apply your lip product whenever it wears off. Keeping the lips hydrated is part of the trick to keeping them as full and flushed as possible, so they stand out, instead of blending in with the rest of your face. Avoid dehydrating ingredients such as mint and camphor. Here’s an interesting fact: Did you know that your lips actually get fuller during the times of your monthly cycle when estrogen levels are elevated? You may have thought you were imagining that your lips are fuller during certain times of the month - but you weren’t!

So, now you know that you really can achieve fuller lips without the surgery and injections. As long as you are dilligent in administering the treatments as recommended, and choose the best products, you are on your way to a perfectly full, soft set of lips!

About the Author: Danna Schneider is the webmaster of the beauty and cosmetic product review and advice website CosmeticsGalore.com http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com . She is a cosmetics and beauty product researcher and enthusiast.

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There have, in very recent years, been a flood of breast enhancement and breast enlargement supplements put on the market. All of them make the same claims of being an effective and safe alternative to breast augmentation surgery. For many women, small or unattractively shaped and sized breasts are a major source of genuine insecurity and emotional distress. As trivial as this may sound to some, a women’s perception of her breasts can have a real impact on her self esteem.

With the increasing popularity and prevalence of cosmetic surgery, and especially breast implant surgery, we see increasing numbers of women who seem paradoxically blessed with size 2 waists, and buxom bosoms. It’s easy to say you should be happy with what you were born with, but the fact is you can’t change how you feel about certain things, and if your breasts are a source of negative body image or low self esteem, you’ve probably looked into ways to change your bustline, maybe even considered cosmetic surgery to achieve your desired results.

If you’ve done your homework, you’ve probably noticed there are now several breast enhancement supplements on the market. These products really can be effective when used correctly and over a period of several months, as long as the product chosen is of a concentrated potency and high quality. We are going to examine the common ingredients found in all of these natural breast augmentation supplements and what their effects have been when used in traditional herbal and naturopathic medicine. Most of the common herbs and compounds discussed here started to gain attention with the publication of “The Green Pharmacy” in which Dr. James Duke discussed their hormone-balancing properties.

One of the primary ingredients is Saw Palmetto, prescribed by naturopathic doctors as a means to increase breast size, a hormonal regulator, sexual stimulation, urinary tract infections, and weight regulation. Second, we find Damiana, traditionally used for treating depression, anxiety and nervousness. It has been widely held to promote a sense of well being and is a traditional herbal prescription for hormone imbalances, poor mammary gland (breast tissue) development, decreased sex drive, menopause, infertility and PMS.

Dong Quai is another herb found in these supplements which is primarily used to treat an array of female problems related to hormonal imbalances and lack of estrogen production. Blessed Thistle, another common ingredient, has an extensive history of use as a restorative herb that supports the female reproductive organs. Also, because it is considered to be an excellent heart tonic and blood purifier, it allows the others herbs to absorb and work more effectively.

Wild Yam is the most widely used herbal remedy for female health. Wild Yam contains diosgenin, a producer of progesterone (a female hormone), which makes it popular for treating PMS. It is widely used as a female breast enhancer and a sexual stimulant. Fenugreek, a product of American folk medicine, was considered a very effective menstruation promoter. Modern scientists have confirmed that Fenugreek contains the chemicals diosgenin and isoflavones, very similar to the female sex hormone estrogen. It’s properties mimic the effect of estrogen in the female body. This herb provides a mastogenic effect resulting in the swelling and growth of healthy breast tissue.

Fennel Seed is another compound commonly used.

It’s estrogen-mimicking properties are second only to Fenugreek. In addition, Fennel works as an appetite suppressant and stabilizes the nervous system. It also helps move waste out of the body. Lastly, there are Hops and Avena Sativa (Wild Oats). Hops are commonly used to treat anxiety and other stress related symptoms. Hops has a relaxing effect on the uterus, hence it’s utilization as a menstrual cramping treatment. Avena Sativa, or Wild Oats, is another common remedy for stress and anxiety. It is also used as a aphrodisiac and anti-addiction treatment.

There you have it. Those are the primary ingredients you will find in most herbal breast enlargement pills on the market today. The key to finding the best supplements is to know which companies use the purest grade of these herbs, allowing for maximum potency and optimal bodily absorption. The higher the potency and quality of each ingredient, the better your results will be with these products so choose wisely. For more information on this subject and for where to find the highest quality suppliers and the most effective products see http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com/best-cosmetics-online-reviews.html .
Don’t base your choice solely on price or name, as you could be cutting yourself short on attaining the best results. Look for products that show before and after photos and give mutliple testimonials. Also, you should only go with a product that offers a money back guarantee.

You should know that taking these supplements can yield some additional benefits after a few weeks. Reported side effects in clinical trials, testimonials and commentary, have shown the following:
* Elevated mood
* Fuller lips (from increased levels of estrogen while on product)
* Clearer skin (some women report brief breakouts at the start, but then unusually clear skin afterwards)
* Diminished PMS symptoms
* Increased regularity and decreased severity of menstrual cycles

These side effects actually make sense when you look at the hormone balancing properties of most of the herbs and compounds that make up these concoctions. So, if you’re thinking about trying one of these products, go ahead. Most of the better ones come with a satisfaction and money back guarantee, so there’s really nothing to lose. Just make sure you stick to the recommended dosage for AT LEAST 3 MONTHS if not more. You must allow your body time to adapt to, absorb, and respond to the compounds in the treatment in order for it to have any type of effect on your breast size. Another word of advice - if you’re looking for double D cups and you have A cups currently, don’t waste your money or time on a breast pill as you will only be let down. This type of growth is extremely rare and you will be disappointed. But, if you’re looking for a more modest increase in bust size, like 1/2 to 2 cup sizes, increased firmness, volume and contour, go for it! There really is nothing to lose.

About the Author: Danna Schneider is the webmaster of the beauty and cosmetic product review and advice website CosmeticsGalore.com http://www.cosmeticsgalore.com . She is a cosmetics and beauty product researcher and enthusiast.

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